Searching to be Gone

It goes away like the sun, but comes as fast as lightening. The feelings inside of me are roaring like tidal waves and crashing into my very soul, taking out each organ one by one, washing me out and draining everything. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't feel like it matters, like I matter, like anything matters. Losing myself day by day, hour by hour. Can't I just be lost?